1 Month to Plan a Wedding- The Officiant

I apologize for the stall on the 1 Month to Plan a Wedding postings! We've been busy little bees around here getting things accomplished for 2 large weddings we have coming up!

In thinking about your wedding plans, one of the last things on brides minds is the officiant. Many brides already have someone in mind, maybe their family pastor or priest or a family member who could perform the ceremony. Others will opt to find a local minister available to perform their ceremony. Here in the Nashville area, there are several "traveling" ministers who will perform ceremonies for couples who don't have a home church here in the area or a minister to perform. One of A Delightful Day's favorites is Minister Ralph Griggs who charges a flat rate and also offers a pre-marital counseling program to assist you in your marriage license costs.

 


Here are some things to consider when choosing a minister:

• Does the church, cathedral, or temple that you're choosing to hold your ceremony offer you a minister's services? Many Cathedral's or Temple's require you to use their home priest or officiant instead of bringing in your own. There are very few churches that will allow you to bring in your own minister onto their own "turf". 
• Think about a proper amount to budget for as a thank you to your minister. Most don't require a set fee, however, they do request that a gift or donation be given to the church in honor of his or her service at your wedding. Most don't require a prepay as well, so on the day of have your coordinator, or another member of your wedding party, give the gift in a sealed envelope with a thank you note to him and your appreciation of his service at your wedding.
• Some minister's or priest's will opt to run the ceremony rehearsal the day before. This is something that should be discussed ahead of time with your coordinator so that he or she feels comfortable in that situation and knows going in to the rehearsal what is asked of their presence there. 
• The question is always asked, should my minister be asked to be a part of the rehearsal dinner and other wedding festivities? It is considered etiquette to invite the minister, and his wife, to your rehearsal dinner, as well as the reception. They can make a choice as to whether to accept this invitation or choose not to attend. 
• Do check your state's requirements for an officiant, especially if you want to opt to have a friend become ordained to perform your ceremony. On your state's site, it will also include the rules as to what is legal and what is not, and what you're expected to provide for your marriage license.
• Look to your officiate for guidance on the structure of your wedding ceremony and think about what is important to you and your fiance'. Do you want to have any particular readings? Any song performances? These do need to be okay'ed with your officiant to make sure that they follow the churches standards, as some choices may be too secular for the ceremony and setting.
• Make sure that whoever you choose, you feel comfortable with them. Interview them, talk to them about their typical ceremony, and make sure that you both feel comfortable with them being a part of this huge day for both of you! 

Happy Planning!

~ Mary Alice, Nashville Wedding Planner
A Delightful Day